sábado, 31 de mayo de 2025

Burials



 No one ends up in the grave; only bones or dust are there.

William Saroyan


I lived with his corpse for three months before burying him. Although I decided to do so without hesitation, I never managed to assimilate the shock of death or the horror of having lived ninety days next to a rotting body.


Go this way to the right, and to the end of the corridor pass the double doors, ring the bell, and they will let you in, the mortuary chambers are there.


I went to claim his body that day, fully intending to take him with me. I left the morgue pushing the metal gurney where he was laying. I walked through the empty corridor and, turning left, greeted the nurse on duty. I waited a few seconds before the elevator door opened. Went down to the lobby, heading toward the parking lot, and took him home.


Code Green, respiratory therapy technician; Code Green, respiratory therapy technician.


I couldn't carry him with me everywhere. I had to leave him in the house, tucked away in some corner; but the thought of going out and leaving him alone, waiting for me... he, who already knew how short time was, mortified me. At first, I kept him tied to a chair in front of the dinner table. Later, I started carrying him around the house with me. Oh, how painful it was to look at his yellow, hardened face, his open eyes, his mouth gasping for air.


Mealtimes became a spectacle of unhealthiness. Sitting, staring into space, he placed his right hand on the table and refused to eat. Maggots had begun to emerge from his body orifices, and the nauseating smell of his rotting flesh invaded my nostrils, inducing vomiting. All the food served ended up in the trash. Then I made coffee and returned to the table. Although he didn't say a word, everything I said seemed fine to him.


His fetid odor increased in summertime, especially in August. His hair, now darker, began to sweat for some weird reason, and it seemed like he had drops of dew on his head. It was difficult to dress him, so I covered him with a blanket.


Decide what clothes you want to put on him; shoes will not be necessary; the embalming process takes about two hours.


The hardest thing to deal with was sex. My occasional encounters were hampered by the unwanted body I carried with me. With my body in a doggy position over the bed, the man writhed in disgust watching the corpse reclining in a corner facing the wall. He would grab my buttocks and thrust hard while staring at the ceiling, holding his breath. Then he would exhale and scream, "Oh, God!" I tried to distract myself from the image of the corpse by exaggerating my moans, but the putrid smell invaded my entire being. The man would leave with a "See you later." I would sit on the kitchen steps, smoking a cigarette and watching the birds pecking at the mangoes that fell to the ground.


The days passed like this, and the nights terrified me, waiting for the decisive moment to bury him. I wanted to keep him with me for another day. I can put him somewhere, make sure he won't be in the way. Would he see me cry? Would he see me at all? I made a bed on the floor with a comforter. I put down a pillow and a sheet. At night, I left the television on at a low volume, and he and I slept under the dim blue light and whispering voices. I shuddered at the thought of him underground, the ceremony of lowering the coffin, the ropes wounding my hands, my hands bleeding and me trying to wipe them with each other to remove the dirt that falls into my eyes, because I use so much force to lower the casket that I fall into the void, exhausted. Then I woke up, stunned by the courtesy of the funeral salutes.


The day had finally come. He had been up for a while and was sitting at the dining room table, dressed in long sleeves and a tie, ready to leave. The flesh had begun to peel off his hands, and his phalanges were visible. I put the makeshift bed in the closet. I went to the kitchen and made myself some coffee. As I sat down at the table, I tripped over my chair, and the coffee danced in the cup.


The hole seemed too narrow for the size of the coffin.


I wanted to ask him where he intended to go, but instead, I made breakfast to buy myself some time. I scrambled eggs with bacon and fresh cheese and cut slices of sweet bread to heat in the pan. I remembered there were honey mangoes in the yard, so I went to get some to serve sliced ​​on top of the bread. He sat at the table, unwavering. I went in and out of the kitchen, trying to delay the morning as long as I could because I knew that once I served breakfast, the end would be near. He was already dressed and had to go. I wouldn't see him again. Then he would be just the hint of a presence, a whisper in the wind.


There he was, stuck in that coffin, stuck in there with the sun shining, stuck in that casket with his hands crossed, maybe he wants to move but cannot.


He made his way to the door as best he could, leaving a trail of gelatinous, foul-smelling fluid. His white shirt was stained with his secretions, and as he tried to lean against the wall, his phalanges fell to the floor. The sound of bones still echoes in my head, day after day. I followed him through the door. I remember it was already noon when I was finally able to bury him.


I laid my hand open on the table and felt the cold wood. I drank the last sip of coffee, staring at the breakfast leftovers for a while. I leaned my head back on the uncomfortable arch of the chair. I closed my eyes, and the house collapsed on me, dark and narrow, like a tomb.


(Translated from the original story Entierros, published on Penumbria magazine, volume 63 Body horror, May 2025)


Translation by the author

Corrections of the English text: Valeria Gracia

Image by ARTSPARK on PIXABAY


martes, 20 de mayo de 2025

Una chica en el tren

 

En el tren va sentada una chica pelirroja

de rostro largo y pálido

que tiene la mandíbula de los Habsburgo.

Lleva puestos unos jeans

y una camisa a cuadros azules y magenta.

Va leyendo y no le veo los ojos.

Las pestañas son rubias

y las manos son grandes.

Posa sus dedos largos

sobre las páginas del libro mientras lee.

A ratos se humedece

los labios rosados con la lengua

y entonces son más rosados todavía.

El tren se detiene por unos minutos

pero no me importa;

voy a la librería más antigua de Chicago

y, mientras miro a la chica,

quisiera encontrar

en la sección de libros raros

uno sobre la casa real de los Habsburgo

y su descendencia endogámica.

Ella sigue leyendo

negándome el color de sus ojos.

El tren va subterráneo y rápido

y los demás van sentados en su mundo

soñando, sufriendo, descansando

sobre el azul de los asientos.

Hemos salido de la oscuridad

y a través de la ventanilla

puedo ver la cúpula

de la iglesia de San Alfonso.

Entonces la chica pelirroja

lleva puesto un vestido negro

con mangas abullonadas

y el corpiño bordado con hilos de oro.

El tren llegará pronto a mi parada.

Tendré que salir a la estación

y ella se quedará sola leyendo.

Saldré a mis libros viejos

y al frío de la calle

y ella no me mirará nunca.


Pixabay SAYDUNG


sábado, 17 de mayo de 2025

Instrucciones para salir de casa

 

Pálpese el rostro con las dos manos. Respire profundo. Mírese en el espejo. Es muy importante que esté usted alerta al temblor en la mano al agarrar las llaves. Por más difícil que sea, mantenga la cabeza en alto. Visualice los escalones. Estos se balancearán como un columpio, se estirarán como un acordeón; no pierda la fe de que puede salir de casa, aunque en el fondo lo dude muchísimo. ¿Siente acelerados los latidos del corazón? ¿Siente el sudor en la frente?  Continúe mirándose al espejo. Tenga en cuenta que la temperatura es diferente afuera.  Y que, además,  es posible que no sea usted la misma persona cuando haya regresado. ¿De verdad se cree capaz de cruzar el umbral? Mientras se visualiza bajando  la escalera, ¿siente que los peldaños desaparecen  y usted se hunde hasta las rodillas y luego flota?  Entonces adelante, abra la puerta.

The digital artist, PIXABAY


jueves, 15 de mayo de 2025

Atribuciones

Me dice buenos días
o buenas tardes
y me ofrece la mano
tan propio, tan cordial.
Al contacto de su mano abierta
mi cerebro da vueltas
en un remolino de suposiciones.
De tanto encontrármelo
en la calle a diario
terminé por soñarlo.
Bailan desde las verjas
trinitarias colgantes,
las flores amarillas del roble
me sonríen erectas,
la gente en los balcones
me saluda.
De tanto encontrármelo
en la calle a diario
mi cerebro da vueltas.
Soy la única que existe
en sus sueños,
piensa en mí a toda hora,
inconsciente me busca
por las habitaciones de su casa,
llora por mí en su cuarto
semioscuro
mientras escucha música
o ve televisión.
Estoy ilusionada;
así me siento yo
cuando este hombre
que no es nada mío
me mira y me saluda.
No dejo de llegar a conclusiones,
así me siento,
así
brinco de la alegría
así
me elevo
sobre los árboles
y sobre el techo de mi casa.
Mañana lo veré.
Si temo me cuestione
cruzaré a la otra acera.
Imagen IA Pixabay Iffany







domingo, 11 de mayo de 2025

La ruta del olvido


 A veces el camino al olvido

se parece a un infierno

peor que el que mencionan los apóstoles.

Se parece a un terreno baldío 

donde no hay ni árboles ni flores.

No hay agua para el cuerpo o para el alma

y tu recuerdo se hace más intenso,

se vuelve un aguijón.

Mientras busco la salida el demonio me persigue,

me asesta golpes bajos

y cuando casi estoy saliendo del desierto

y veo un río largo rodeado de palmeras

me agarra por el cuello y me devuelve

al principio del camino.

No cabe duda, estoy en un infierno

peor que el que Jehová

le tiene destinado a los infieles

y el amor alza su cetro

desde las altas cumbres, desorientándome.

Imagen de Pixabay juanitosaa